(The picture that goes along with this post is a visual representation of my Inner Critic spiral. I got this idea from Austin Kleon over on his blog post called Intentionally spiraling out.)

The closer I get to the release of my first book, the more imposter syndrome is rearing its ugly face. And let me tell you, it can mess with your damn head. At least it’s messing with mine pretty hard.

These are but a few of the things my inner critic (Betsy) whispers in my ear during the quiet and in-between moments of the day. Consider yourself warned. Betsy’s not very nice. Welcome to a small peek at the inner workings of my brain:

  • What if I spelled something wrong on the cover? (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve checked the fucking cover or panicked that I’ve spelled the title of my book wrong somewhere). People will think you’re a hack.
  • Who are you to think you can do this? I mean, really?
  • What makes you think you can write something other people will like? (So far everyone who’s reviewed it on ).
  • What if the people who have read them are just saying they liked the book because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings?
  • Even if the books are good, how are you going to get eyes on them? You are one little computer geek.
  • What if no one likes the covers you had made? Just because YOU like them doesn’t mean anyone else will.
  • What if book 1 does dismally? Why bother with the other three? Or the next series that you’re already planning for?

Luckily Bridging the Silence is on an Amazon preorder, as is book two Blending Chords (it will be out June 24th). Basically it means that it’s coming out, hell or highwater.

For those that doen’t know, once you’ve set up a preorder, you have a certain date that you have to have the ebook uploaded. I’ve already uploaded my manuscript only to then updated and re-uploaded. If you don’t upload it, the world implodes and you’ll forever be relegated to the lower echelon of books. (Just kidding – I honestly don’t know what happens- but I think one consequence is that you cannot use pre-order anymore.

I know I’m not the only writer who’s dealt with this. I’m hoping Ol’ Betsy just goes away once I prove to myself, once I’ve done this a few times.

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